


Emotion, yet peace

by tfa2141



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: BB-8 Ships It, F/M, Jedi rules on love and affection, Luke is a rule breaker, Mom advice from Leia, Poe and BB-8 make an appearance, Rey studies to be a Jedi, right in the feels, space children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 20:32:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5798953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfa2141/pseuds/tfa2141
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after the events of The Force Awakens. Rey has finished training with Luke Skywalker on Ahch-To and things are different between her and Finn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emotion, yet peace

**Author's Note:**

> This is only my second fic okay  
> I have no experience with writing relationships so it's a bit rough but it'll do
> 
> (anything for my space children because I ship them so hard)

**_Excerpt from the Jedi Code:_ **

_There is no emotion, there is peace._

_There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

_There is no passion, there is serenity._

_There is no chaos, there is harmony._

_There is no death, there is the Force._

 

No one told Rey about this part of becoming a Jedi. She had been excited to start her training – a new chapter, a new start, and maybe she could make a difference. But now, she wasn’t sure what to think. Taking this time away from her closest friends and people she cared about had served to curb the number of distractions she had to deal with, sure – but those feelings weren’t always unwelcome. She missed Poe’s warm smile and easygoing demeanor. She missed the motherly figure she’d found in General Organa. And she most of all missed the embrace of her close _friend?_ Finn.

The Jedi were to be silent protectors without any emotional attachments. But she found herself struggling to address and quiet the feelings she had for all of her friends. She was used to self-denial. She could be strong and independent (after all she’d been alone for over 14 years on Jakku) and why would some spur of the moment friendships get in the way of the Big Picture?

She returned to D’Qar and the Resistance base, having practiced hardening herself against her feelings, following her training on Ahch-To. But the moment she touched down in the Falcon she knew that was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done. Immediately rolling towards her on the landing strip was BB-8, followed closely by Poe (still in his flight suit). And then she saw Finn, slowly but surely trodding down the runway. In that moment, the only thing she wanted to do was run to him, grab his hand, and hug him tightly and never let go.

* * *

 

It seemed more like an interrogation than a welcome home. Rey wasn’t sure she’d ever been asked this many questions about herself, and it really didn’t seem necessary, but she gave polite answers and took comfort in the company of her friends. Her bunk was still the same as it had been when she left months ago and she didn’t think she’d ever been so tired. She sat down on the firm mattress, plunked her bag down in the corner by the footlocker, and sighed. No sooner had she sat down when three gentle knocks came on the doorframe and Finn stepped in to her room. She hadn’t planned for this.

He approached cautiously and sat down next to her as the bedframe squeaked ever so slightly. “I missed you, Rey.” His face was more tired than it had been when she left, aged maybe by the recovery process and the toll it had taken on him. But it still held the same fierce loyalty and kindness in his eyes that she had so dearly missed. “Hi, Finn.” They talked in the way that old friends do - Finn told her about his new job working on the mechanics of the damaged fighters and astromech droids. She recounted some of the best moments from her training and they shared a laugh about how their lives had changed so much so quickly. When the conversation turned from small-talk to more personal matters, Rey could tell she wasn’t going to be able to avoid the matter much longer. A quiet silence filled the room.

“I’ve really missed you. I’m sure you know that,” Finn started. His voice was softer now, less sure of himself. “I couldn’t stop wondering if you were okay. I mean, I knew you were in good hands with _Luke Skywalker_ of all people, but I was still concerned and I’m glad to-“ “Finn.” She stopped him in his tracks. “If you have something to say, let’s hear it,” Rey said a bit coldly. Her voice softened. “I’m sure I know where this is going.” Finn took a deep breath and began to say the words he’d been rehearsing for what seemed like forever.

* * *

 

Her eyes were red but she couldn’t stop rubbing them. Her vision was foggy, clouded by the tears that pooled in her eyes down onto her pillow. She’d done what she needed to do. Jedi weren’t supposed to be emotionally attached. So why did it feel so wrong? She closed her eyes and took deep, shuddering breaths as she tried to relax. She needed guidance, and luckily there was someone who had much of it.

“Come in.” Rey’s footsteps padded gently into the strategy room where she knew she would find General Organa. She’d become a mother figure to Rey in the short time they spent together between the destruction of Starkiller Base and her leaving for Ahch-To. Leia often seemed to understand people better than they knew themselves. Rey was hoping this was situation applied. The General turned from her holomap and nearly immediately her face softened to one of sympathy at Rey’s obvious suffering. “It seems we may need to take a seat.”

As she poured her emotions out, Leia recognized a familiar problem. “When Luke and I were younger he was going through much of your same struggle. Did he ever tell you about the number of times he was told that he was inadequate? Simply because he had a fierce devotion to his friends?” Rey sniffled. “I can tell you simply one thing. Love isn’t a weakness. And you don’t have to get rid of your happiness to be strong. You of all people should know that.” With a warm smile she rubbed Rey’s shoulders. “Now go make things right.”

* * *

 

Rey knew she would find him in the hangar. He was crouched next to a toolbox, working underneath Poe’s black x-wing. BB-8 was beeping directions nearby. He didn’t see her approach but the droid did, as he spun towards her and began to make low alert sounds. Finn dropped a wrench with a loud clang, startling both him and Rey. He muttered under his breath and went to pick it up where it had skittered away and caught a glimpse of a familiar pair of boots standing some feet away. The feeling hung heavy in both of their chests as Finn straightened up, not sure what to make of her arrival. His eyes looked her up and down, wondering what the next moments had in store for them. She began to take cautious steps towards him and struggled to maintain her countenance as she felt tears prick the corners of her eyes.

She stopped about a foot away from him and each studied the other’s expression – sadness, pain, and fear of the unknown. With a shaky voice, she whispered from her burning throat. “I’m so sorry. ” No more needed to be said as she laced her arms around his neck and he pulled her tightly into a hug. Neither had ever felt more at home than they were in each other’s arms.

 

 

_Emotion, yet peace._

_Ignorance, yet knowledge._

_Passion, yet serenity._

_Chaos, yet harmony._

_Death, yet the Force._

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave some kudos if you enjoyed it! Seeing your support really keeps me going. Thank you so so much.


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